Ah, May 2009, what a forgettable month! Not only I need to do blood checks and visit the doc every week, not only I battle otherproblems, but now that. Not that it was unexpected, but almost. Where do I start... Oh May, my birthday month, what a crappy one this year!
On Thursday afternoon, a very hot afternoon, I took the train (almost 4h) to my father.. The whole point of the trip was to be there with him on Saturday for his 75th birthday, which didn't turn out the way he planned. My brother didn't come, his sister (my aunt) couldn't come because of grandma, so I just had to go. Little did I know...
Friday was nice, I love all the flowers they have at their entrance and in the garden... I and my father's wife went for a long walk with both dogs....
Three little dogs, all very different in shape and color, all rescued from a shelter. From left to right, my Happy and their Biniu and Sonia. I witnessed some funny scenes :)
But then just after 10 pm on Friday, my aunt called and I immediately knew it had to be serious if she called so late. In short, grandma fell twice, it was quite a job to lift her, she wasn't okay at all, my aunt called the emergency, they came, gave grandma injections and insisted on hospitalizing her. They said that her breath is very bad, her heart is bad, her lungs are bad, her blood oxygenation is bad. My aunt refused, signed a paper. She explained to the doctor that in hospital, grandma wouldn't have a nurse at her side every minute. At home, my aunt is there for her. The doctor agreed, set up a scheme of nurses coming to do injections twice every day, yada yada. Granma has caught a cold but at 100 and over 3 months, it made some damage to the head as well... We thought the situation was dangerous, so instead of celebrating my father's birthday, off 2 hours we drove.
Can it really be so that there was snow on the fields recently? :)
Long talks....
Good time too...
Grandma being asked to breath properly....
And then my father++ left, and I stayed for two days more to help my aunt. Oh the days, oh the nights. Grandma walks almost okay again, but her head is not okay... sometimes she doesn't recognize my aunt, at other times she speaks total rubbish, and most often she just istn't among us... I talk, I explain, I shout, but I see she's looking at me with a blank face. She doesn't register much, though she told her birth year to the doc today :)
Nights are difficult. Today, till 3 am, she called every 5 minutes and every time I went, she was sitting on the bed and ready to start the day. Totally not there also... She kept repeating "two carpets, two carpets". I knew she wanted to say something else, but she couldn't find the right words. I felt so sorry for her, she was a poor little thing totally lost in her world. But as soon as I made her lay under the cover, she sat again. By 3 am, I and my aunt were exhausted.
Today she was much worse in her head.... I tried to tell her good-bye, but I talked and talked directly close to her face, but then I realized she was looking somewhere else, not hearing me at all. She kept rolling her eyes and closing them repeatedly all day, it looked like she was leaving... but apart from that, she still walks, albeit slow, eats quite well.. But in her better moments, she says she's very tired and that she wants to leave....
Nothing unexpected of course, at her age, but still an ordeal for the closest family to go through. Looks like noone is really prepared to see her go...
I took the train to Warsaw again tonight with Happy, and I'm sitting here completely exhausted. The last two days, my aunt was able to walk grandma from her room to the kitchen, to the terrace, so I could leave. I had to, for a multitude of important reasons. But I've made it clear - if grandma starts falling again, if my aunt needs any help (more than usually, that is), I'll go no matter what.
Who knows how long it will last. A day? Two? A few weeks? Months? This is just so sad.
And this also means that I might not be able to leave for Norway as planned, but I'll cancel or delay the flight as needed. WHo knows what's going to happen during the next two weeks. Ah, life.
And then there's work to deal with every day.
So I really have to apologize to anyone (you know who you are) I haven't yet replied to... Days are so busy at the moment... but I remember and I do try to write an email or two daily...
Toska stayed alone while I was away, much longer than planned, and she went high up, grabbed 3 gifts for 3 nice May/June birthday girls... and ruined them. I was so happy to have done them in time! I won't have time to stitch replacement pieces.... I'll do my best though!
No stitching the past few days. But last week, I went to a tatting course (more later) and I took a beginner's piece to work on. Well, to learn :) I've understood the basics, but I'll have to go to the second course to be able to do more than the very basic stitches, picots etc. I haven't been able to understand the more advanced how-to's by myself.
Any tatters among you? I find it extremely relaxing and rewarding - and hey, it only requires a lenght of thread and the shuttle to take when traveling. Not like with cross-stitch, all the fabrics, charts, floss....
Sorry for the sad post today, I'll crash on the bed and get some strength. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. And I'm so sad that my father's birthday was so bad.... it was supposed to be very special.
